The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also cried when his son Ibrahim died as an infant. Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.Quran 39:10Insha Allah. for guidance of someone close, Parents Differing on How to Raise Children, You can ask your question on the website via this link: https://islamqa.info/en/ask, Password should contain small, capital letter and at least 8 characters long, Log in But now my husband has divorced me. Reward a Mother Gets After Miscarriage in Islam Maisah December 20, 2021 One of the greatest pains a human being can experience is losing someone they love. Ameen. The child is at an age where he needs leisure and play; he is also at an age where discipline and teaching are appropriate. Do parents have a share of rewards attained by their children? I didnt think anything of the conversation. SubhanAllah, what a beautiful picture this depicts;! The man said, O Messenger of Allah! What is wrong? We also congratulate you for your keenness to give your children a good upbringing. Ukrainian officials said rescuers had put out a fire in the building following the strike. Then if they go beyond the stated time, you can punish them by depriving them of TV for an entire day. ! so much so that even the stillborn will remain at the gate of Paradise too reluctant to enter saying, I shall not enter till my parents enter.[19][68] The only reason why the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did the `aqiqah for al-Hasan and al-Husayn was because he is closer to the believers than their own selves.. Whoever bears that with patience and accepts the will and decree of Allaah will have a great reward by the grace and bounty of Allaah. But then he affirms that He trusts in Allah and asks for His pleasure and satisfaction. Muslim narrated in his Saheeh (1525) that Umm Salamah said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, There is no Muslim who is afflicted with a calamity and says that which Allaah has enjoined, Innaa lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raajioon. I am torn between whether I should continue trying to remain patient and remind them gently, or I should become more strict to enforce better behavior. I am very concerned because it seems that we are surrounded by bad examples and role models, and the standards of society are very low. Abdur Rahman bin Auf said, O Allahs Messenger (SAW), even you are weeping!. Sahl son of the Hanzali woman, who was childless and one of those who had sworn allegiance to the Prophet () under the tree, is quoted as having said, If a son is born for me in Islam [who dies a stillborn], so I hope for compensation from Allah, is dearer to my heart than I have as my possession the whole world and everything in it.[15][64] It was happening all over again. As if it had never happenedno acknowledgement of the loss of our baby. Sometimes not knowing how to respond makes us look as if we dont want to, even though its all we want. As-Saduq, may Allah have mercy on him, has narrated it through isnad to Amr ibn Absah al-Salami who said, I heard the Messenger of Allah () saying, Any man offers three sons who did not yet reach maturity, or if a woman offers three of her sons, they will be a veil protecting him/her from the fire.[2][51] I felt as if they were talking directly to me did they know about my experiences? All was going well when, Alhamdulillah, I found out I was expecting our fifth child. And remember, restlessness does not bring the dead back nor does it eliminate grief. Anas is also quoted as having said that Uthman ibn Maz`un, may Allah be pleased with him, lost a son; therefore, his grief was intense, so much so that he took for himself a niche in his house where he worshipped. Good behaviour means following a path that is contrary to the whims and desires of the self, so it is a constructive process that requires effort and striving. Sponsor a child or an orphan: In Islam, a child who has lost their father is often called an orphan. So be patient and do not let your restlessness ruin your reward, which you would then regret. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones., If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials., And Allah loves as-Sabirun (the patient)., The Messenger of Allah SAW entered the room and we accompanied himAnd Ibrahim RD (the Prophet SAWs son) breathed his last. Muslim (2592) narrated from Jarir that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: Whoever is deprived of kindness is deprived of goodness., Aishah, the wife of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, narrating from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): There is no kindness in a thing but it adorns it, and it is not taken away from a thing but it makes it defective., Aishah said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: When Allah wills good for the members of a household, He instills kindness in them. Narrated by Imam Ahmad in his Musnad, 40/488, no. It has been narrated on the authority of Ibn Mas'd: Thereupon He asks, What has My slave said? They say, He has praised You and said: Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall be returned). Allah says, Build a house for My slave in Jannah and name it Bayt-ul-Hamd (the House of Praise). Undoubtedly the loss of a child is one of the greatest calamities for the one whom it befalls. Below is a beautiful read for those who have experienced miscarriages and still-births, and may help grieving parents(extract fromFacebook): My intention for sharing this personal experience with you is to raise awareness of the difficulties of such a heart-breaking experience. The Islamic aspect of the training in particular helped me to understand the whys? 24427; classed as sahih by al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami as-Saghir, no. In fact, it is actually something that Islam teaches us very openly and beautifully about. O Ibrahim, we are sorrowful due to your separation., Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.. What began as a few people wanting to help and support others has now grown into a fantastic team of trained volunteers who support not only mothers but also any woman who has suffered bereavement. He then asks, Have you taken the fruit of his heart? They reply in the affirmative. Our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught us a duaa to say at times of calamity, in which there is virtue and great reward. A man from among the Ansar stood up and said, Is this [reward] only for this man or is it for anyone from among the Muslims who has a child [who passes away]? The Prophet () said, Rather, it is for anyone among the Muslims who has a child [who passes away]; he shall have the same [rewards]. Mu`awiyah ibn Haidah al-Qushairi quotes the Prophet () as saying, A slave woman who gives birth is better than a beautiful [free] woman who does not. He said, Surely you have been protected from the Fire with a strong protection.[34][83] When a persons child dies, Allah the Most High asks His angels, Have you taken out the life of the child of My slave? They reply in the affirmative. He told the Prophet () about his sons demise, so the Prophet () offered his condolences to him then said, O so-and-so! The eyes of Allahs Messenger SAW were filled with tears. Learn how your comment data is processed. They will take their hands and all will enter Paradise, for they best know their fathers and mothers on that Day than your own sons who now are in your homes.[20][69] It is then that the Almighty, Exalted and Great is He, shall say, Why do I see you hesitating? SubhanAllah (Glory to God), it was the only thing that saved me in my darkest days. In case of miscarriage in Islam, the scholars differed as to whether offering `aqiqah is prescribed or not. This is an Islamic organization that aim to promote Islamic Knowledge My children. Each child is different and each loss is different, but all are equally treasured. Then He SAW said, Our eyes shed tears and our hearts are filled with grief, but we do not say anything except that by which Allah is pleased. For example: Al-Tirmidhi (942) narrated that Abu Sinaan said: I buried my son Sinaan and Abu Talhah al-Khoolaani was sitting at the graveside. 2. Is what he did correct? He is human after all and in pain at what he is going through. It was said to the Messenger of Allah (), O Messenger of Allah! If he refuses or he gives the mother permission to do the `aqiqah, then that is Islamically acceptable. Allah talked about orphans at least 25 times in the Qur'an, which shows their importance. Encourage patience. Offer sincere dua to Allah to make your children righteous. Followers . Amr ibn Shu`ayb quotes his father quoting his grandfather saying that the Messenger of Allah () had said, Whoever offers one son from his loins, who is yet to reach adolescence, it will be better for him than a hundred sons who survive him, all performing jihad in the cause of Allah who never are calmed till Judgment Day. He is Ar-Rahman (The Most Compassionate), Ar-Rahim (The Most Merciful), plead with Him to bestow His Mercy and Love on you and to ease the hardship of this trial for you. Losing a child. Enter Paradise! They will say, O Lord, our parents. Then He will say, Enter Paradise, you and your parents.Raslullh sallallhu alayhi wasallam said:Whoever outlives three of their children who have not reached the age of maturity then they will be an impenetrable fortress which will protect him from hellfire.Then Abu Dharr RD said, I have outlived two. Raslullh sallallhu alayhi wasallam said,Even two.Then Ubay bin Kab RD said, I have outlived one. Raslullh sallallhu alayhi wasallam said,Even one, but this is only for those who are patient when the affliction first strikes.. Shall our parents accompany us? They will be called upon a second time to go to Paradise in hordes, but they will again say, Lord! The greater the difficulty the greater the reward. Ubayy ibn al-Nadar al-Salami is quoted as having said that the Messenger of Allah () had said, If one of the Muslims loses three of his children and he rests his hope on compensations from Allah, they will be protection for him against the fire. A woman asked, What if two die? The Prophet () said, Even if he/she loses two. We hadnt even been to see the GP nor had our first appointment. The mother of Mubashshir, who belongs to the Ansars, is quoted as saying that the Messenger of Allah () entered her house as she was cooking rice. On the other hand, good behaviour means disciplining oneself and restraining oneself from whims and desires that are detrimental to ones own best interests. What Are the Virtues of Patience in Islam? The Reward for Losing a Child and Being Patient Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid category: Coping with Adversity source: Islam-QA.com There are many texts in the Qur'aan and Sunnah which point to the virtue and great reward of those who are patient and state that Allaah will give them reward without measure. Abdur Rahman Ibn Awf RD said: You are weeping, O Messenger of Allah SAW. The loss can leave you feeling empty and alone. The thing is that He SWT always had been, it was me that had taken so long to realise. This includes everyone who bears with patience any calamity with which he is tested. I didnt want my sisters in Islam to feel the way I had. Summary of answer In case of miscarriage in Islam, the scholars differed as to whether offering `aqiqah is prescribed or not. Sabr (Patience) Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience. The child should also be named and aqeeqah is to be carried out. The eyes of Allahs Messenger SAW were filled with tears. What about our parents? It will be said to them on the fourth time, Your parents shall be with you, too, whereupon each child will leap to its parents. But a way to slowly get to a sort of balance is to try and carry on with things and only as much as you can take. I worked really hard with all my heart. A mother gives up a great deal for the sake of the child. When my son was about a year and a half, I attended a Janazah course, a day you learn how to perform the rites of the deceased and it was there where they told us of a need for a muslim bereavement service especially supporting mothers who had lost their children, including prenatal loss. Ask Him to bless you with healthy children and/or make your existing children a qurrat ayun (coolness of your eyes). Our parents! The Almighty will then say, Enter Paradise, you and your parents.[18][67] Our daughter would have a sibling to grow up with. He lost his son. When the Prophet () saw that man again, he said to him, Are you not pleased that on the Judgment Day, whenever you come to one of the gates of Paradise, your son will try to open it for you? The man said, O Messenger of Allah! He has ordered us to be patient, whilst saying, And give glad tidings to the patience ones. FeaturedMultilingualOther NewsQuran & EtratShia, All NewsFeaturedMiddle EastOther NewsOther Religions, Ayatollah Sayed Sharaf al-Din Malek Hosseini, Introduction To The Worldly Assembly For Shia Studies. He is Al-Waliy (The Friend, Patron & Helper). Other mothers may carry their child for longer but then have a stillbirth. The loss can leave you feeling empty and alone. Dont be afraid to talk about it and crythats a healthy way to grieve. Required fields are marked *. Insha Allah. People said to the Prophet (), O Messenger of Allah! Eleven babies are stillborn in the UK every day; more than 30% of these stillbirths occur at term when mothers are expecting to hold a healthy baby. The days of confusion slowly blurred into weeks of feeling empty. How would our daughter respond to them? The day the inspection ended was the day I found out I was pregnant with our fourth baby. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks and that is good for him, and if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him. This has to do with the virtues of patience in general. Source: about a parent who remains steadfast upon losing their child thatAllah instructs the angels to build a house for them in Jannah and name it the House of Praise. There is a dedicated website for bereaved parents, and they have a downloadable book called Where is My Child?. O Ibrahim, we are sorrowful due to your separation. Bukhari. I dealt with my third loss in a way that I am sure I wouldnt have been able to if I had not been a part of the Muslim Bereavement Support Service. He never showed his emotions perhaps he was too busy looking after me and trying to stand strong for us. No, indeed, I prefer he beats me to the gate of Paradise which is dearer to me. The Prophet () said, You shall have that.[24][73] Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun (Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return). He who relieves the hardship of a believer in this world, Allah will relieve his hardship on the Day of Judgment. Can I offer 'aqiqah for her if it is obligatory? Her parents are, quite understandably, in a complete state of Loss of a Child: Hadiths on Losing Children Provide Some Comfort Read More "Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi Raji'un", truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return. If they go beyond the stated time again, then you can deprive them of it for a longer period, according to whatever will achieve the aim and be of benefit in disciplining them. We concentrated on our little family, trying our best as every parent does. Every second of knowing I was pregnant equated to seconds of thinking about our baby. A lot of people forget about the father needing a lot of care too especially when it comes to newborns and stillbirths, as usually everyone focuses on the mother.Encourage them to read a lot of dhikr and durood whilst they are on their nifas. And really its ok to weep. The Prophet () once asked him, O so-and-so! How easily we say this to others, but we only understand the true meaning when we are the ones returning His SWT gifts back to Him. It is a common cultural belief is that it is not acceptable to outwardly express grief. Give glad tidings to the patient ones, who when they are struck by an affliction, they say Verily we belong to Allah and to Him we shall surely return. Those are the ones upon whom are blessing and mercy from their Lord, and those are the ones who are rightly guided. Jabir ibn Samrah is quoted as having said that the Messenger of Allah () had said, One who buries three of his sons and is patient about his loss and rests his hope on being compensated for his loss by Allah Almighty, it will be incumbent that he should be lodged in Paradise. Umm Ayman asked, What if he buries two? Some scholars favoured the view that it is prescribed and they are also of the view that the child should be given a name. What would they look like? As the days passed, hope inched its way up. Finally I felt like I had woken from a bad dream. The Prophet (SAW) made a powerful dua when he was humiliated and driven out of Taif. But this time it was different. The best way in which a person can respond to calamity is to say, Al-hamdu Lillah, inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun (Praise be to Allah, verily we belong to Allah and unto Him is our return).. You did not explain the details of your son clearly. Kindness and gentleness 2. Allah sets on him a snake called "the brave", "the bold" which hits Him from morning until afternoon for leaving Fajr prayer, from the afternoon until Asr for leaving Dhuhr prayer and so on. I was drained. For example, if a Muslim family is living in a neighbourhood where there are no other Muslim families, this family should try hard to move to a neighbourhood or city where there are a lot of Muslims, or to a neighbourhood where there are mosques or Islamic centres that are active in running programs for Muslim children. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Ubayy ibn Ka`b is quoted as having said that the Prophet () once asked a woman if she had children. There are also ahaadeeth which speak specifically of losing a child. Kindness and gentleness I would pour my heart out with tears in sujood (prostration). He who conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults in the world and the Hereafter, for Allah helps the servant as long as he helps his brother. Muslim. Do you love him? The man said, Yes, O Messenger of Allah, I love him just as I love you. The Prophet () missed seeing him, so he asked about him. But it should be noted that punishment, when bringing up children, must be used wisely. He went on to ask Abu Dharr to tell him another tradition, whereupon Abu Dharr al-Ghifari said, I heard the Messenger of Allah () say, If a Muslim spends in the way of Allah a couple of items, the caretakers of Paradise will all call upon him to take what belongs to him. I asked him, How so? He () said, If he had offered men, they will be doubled for him, if camels, cattle, etc., these will be doubled for him, too, counting all species of sacrificial animals.[39][88] This tradition is mentioned by a group of narrators. My first pregnancy had been pure bliss, wellapart from the standard sickness, usual aches, pains and tiredness. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): And those who say: Our Lord! Offering sincere dua to Allah to make your children righteous, Questions cannot be asked through this form, Bad behaviour in most cases is in accordance with a persons whims and desires. When a Muslim is afflicted with a difficulty of any sort, be it the loss of a loved one or any other hardship, and he bears it patiently then Allh ta'l rewards him for his patience. O Uthman son of Maz`un! The Messenger of Allah () said to him, Does it not please you that on the Day of Judgment, he will be beside you? Abdullah ibn Qays quotes the Messenger of Allah () saying, If the son of a servant of Allah dies, Allah Almighty says this to His angels: Have you taken away the son of My servant? He will receive the answer in the affirmative, whereupon He will repeat the question thus: Have you taken away the fruit of his heart? He who makes easy what is difficult, Allah will make it easy for him in the world and the Hereafter. What can sometimes help, is knowing that many others have also been affected. Allah, the most Exalted One, the most Great, did not obligate us to live like monks. 3. The chairman of the Gardens of Peace Cemetery wanted to start the free service as a registered charity and was looking for volunteers to be trained and support the cause. My heart aches for you, grieving for your loss; thinking if I feel this way, how much more painful it might be for you. It began with the same symptoms as last time and I.JUST.KNEW. The greater the trial or tribulation or difficulty that you are put through the greater the reward will be for you and for me from Allah (Tabarak wa ta'ala). Ask them if they need anything; mention that you will be there for them and to let you know of any help they require.Ask them how their own body and health is (especially if it is death of a newborn/still-birth). The Reward for Losing a Child and Being Patient December 13, 2013 . The love of the mother becomes a source of happiness and peace at home. As a muslimah I understood and accepted that this was Allah SWTs plan for me and that insha Allah something better would be given in return. In conclusion, what your husband did, washing and shrouding her and offering the funeral prayer for her is correct and is prescribed in Islam, but you still have to give her a name and offer the `aqiqah on her behalf. Change). I would break down in salat (daily prayer). There follow some of these texts, which we hope will be of consolation to you in your time of calamity: Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings): And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As- Saabiroon (the patient). This time I was numb. The angels will again answer in the affirmative, whereupon He will ask themand He knows in advance what their answer will bethis: What did My servant say? They will answer saying, He praised You and rendered his final affair to You. Allah Almighty will then say, Build a house for My servant in Paradise and name it the House of Praise.[25][74]
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